“If You’re Not Having Sex With Your Man, Who Is?”
That was a great line I saw on a sexy photo online somewhere a few months back and the caption has stuck with me ever since. It applies not only to men, but women as well, and serves as a reminder to us all to pay proper attention to our partner, lest we find ourselves left out of what we thought was ours.
Sex (and sexual fulfillment) is part of the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs. It’s a basic physiological need we all have. And if it’s not being fulfilled, the very core of our souls seeks to solve the problem of fulfillment.
When we begin a new relationship, our sex lives are similar to that of porn stars for the first months. We have sex as often as possible, in every position, and every place. We experiment, stretch our boundaries, and feel extremely gratified in our newly found sexual gratification.
But more often than not, that sexual circus eventually slows down and we can begin to overlook our partner’s needs and sink into a comfortable relationship. With that change, one or both people in the relationship can start to feel the itch of sexual desires welling up inside. And that’s where sexual dysfunction can lead to major relationship problems.
It’s important to remember your partner’s need for sexual gratification in a long term relationship. They still need to be seduced and teased. They still need variety, risk, and excitement. They need to feel wanted. To feel that you’re chasing them. To feel that you can’t wait to tear their clothes off when you see them.
If we don’t get those things from our long term relationships, our hearts will (understandably) begin to wander and consider other options for fulfilling their needs and desires. That’s where infidelity can start. And it can hurt. Big time.
So make sure you’re taking the time to make your partner feel appreciated, wanted, and desired. Not just sexually, but in every aspect. Otherwise you may find that your man (or woman) is being fulfilled in another’s bed.